i just need some place to rant.

And I've de-activated my facebook account. Where should I best rant my feelings? Nobody cares. And i tink this is good because none of my colleagues know that i've a blog. Nobody is a vivid reader, can say that none of my friends know as well. I wanted to do a password protected post just in case some strangers just popped in and see. But well, nobody knows who I am so I guess it doesnt matter. I tink I should just stop using facebook - that cause so much trouble. should just stop hanging out with ppl - that cause so much trouble. should just isolate myself into my own world. Have I changed? He said he is disappointed in me, just because I called him "pig" in front of everybody. I tried to explain but he doesn't listen at all. He thinks that I am degrading him in front of everyone - I reassured him that I did not change, that is just a nickname and everybody knows how much I love him and how much I always side with him, but he doesn't, he just assume. He doesn't trust me and he thinks that I've changed after I start to hang out with the OLs. And Cleo? All the rubbish advices? Have I? What causes changes? Circumstances. How can we blame others when something is not right? Something that had already build up through time, it is affected by the little things that he had not been paying attention to, and not giving me enough attention. When I am talking to him, I know that he is listening, but he never looks at me and whenever I wanted heart to heart talk, does he really take the time to really listen? Whenever he tells me that he doesn’t like this and that, I really control myself and try to stop doing all those things because I am afraid that he will be angry. What did I get in return? A sentence “I don’t believe you anymore”. When he is angry, he will give an attitude and give one straight face and I will abstain from arguing and saying all the things because of all the fear and I am afraid of him being angry more than anything else. Did he use his heart to try to see all that and even try to understand me? In any relationship, one would need to learn to live with disagreements. There is no need for couples to agree in everything. I don’t really need a yes man or someone to go all out to give in to me. All I need is to feel respected enough... he sincerely consider my feelings and priorities even if he might not completely agree or understand me. All women like attention and the feeling of being pampered... and no... These advices and thoughts are not from the others, like as if they care? It’s our problem, and not theirs. The hidden sad feelings are deep inside of me. I just don’t know how to say, don’t know how to start. Though. I still love him, more than yesterday, and each day.