I know I am still treated like a kid all along....
Maybe coz I never want to grow up....
I cannot decide whether it is good or bad.
Maybe that why I was never able to make decisions for and by myself.

Missing someone gets easier everyday, because even though it’s one day further from the last time you saw each other, it’s one day closer to the next time you will..

Starting to miss him even before he leaves. I shouldn't be like this. I must be strong and trust him. I can see it, can feel it. We are meant to be.. be it 3 months or 2 years.

绝不放弃

someone owe me this song leh... for more than 3 years now. AHEM. another reminder, he better dun deny if not i go dubai pull his ears back. I tink i must start a reminder list.. and blog everyday when he's not with me :(

听不清喝彩声音
只有你的泪像海浪迥荡在我心里
看身边茫茫人群究竟谁对我还有意义
一直不能忘记我的勇气曾失落在这里
如今我找回自己
却又失去最深爱的你在风中远离

我绝不放弃永远爱你
时间空间挡不住不灭的情意
你值得我用一生追寻
我绝不放弃永远爱你
现实命运推不动思念的坚定
你是我最依赖的抚慰
我绝不放弃

*reminder*

http://www.thedomebkk.com/web/sirc_home.html

I told hunnie that I want to go to The Dome @ Bangkok for dunno 4th or 5th year anniversary - i expected him to say "huh? got meh? when?" piangz.. SO I SHALL REMIND MYSELF WITH THIS ENTRY THAT HE DID SAY OKAY...!!

AND MY LE AMIS.. he said if i pronounce correctly, he will bring me there.

he also said if i got collarbone, he will marry me but then he siao de.. changed his mind now add in saying what i must know how to cook alot dishes first. I already told my friends that i must have collarbone in order to jia de chu qu.. now how i answer to them! Chloe very good, she even send me article on how to massage to get collarbone.. RAWRRRRRRRRRR

hunnie 28th.

28 neh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aiyo!!!! 2 more years 30 liao! hahahaha came up the idea of surprising him with bouquet coz it's like.. why must it always be the guy who send bouquet and not the woman? i tink tink tink for quite sometime, i don't know what to get him because he seems to have everything he wants - or rather, things that i wanted to get him are too expensive (i.e. thought of helmet) but it's like more than 500? and im quite out of budget.. he definately will be like "u alot money ah" if i buy that! so......... i tot of giving him bouquet, i longed to see his surprise look, his fast beating heart and the happy face when he received it. But things doesn't seem to work out that way, as he doesn't seem THAT happy neh... but i also dunno if he is happy for a second or just acting cool. Coz the smses i received are just simple, thank u kind.. i'm expecting more neh actually..!! Nonetheless, I do hope this is a unique bdae he had! it's not the $$ lor.. its the thought that counts, and the time spend on thinking nah... haiz............. and he asked y i can send things to his office but he cannot send to mine, reason being - guy sending things to girl office is quite "wayang" nah... machiam the girl ask the guy to send to her office so that her whole office know she got flower, like how nice! but where got guy will ask girl send things to office de nah.. like so gay lor so if the guy really receive is the girl realli wnt to surprise her lover nor! simple logic also dunno... humphz..

Super irritating nah the "Send flower to office" episode.. i got 1 colleague, pls nor... i know how florist works nah - if u not around to receive the flower, they will call ur mobile and ask u where u wnt the flower to be delivered to nor! That wayang colleague on leave that day neh for goodness sake! and still ask the florist send flower to her office like WTH. Just wnt to show off, in front everybody like saying her flowers nice, at the back - "wah liew, she is so wayang and hao lian, scarely she buy herself" hahahah AIYA!!!!! Different jiu shi different nah.. hahahaha

the happy (?) hunnie

shall not harp on the mango salad disaster thereafter. hahaha but i bought apple strudel as his bdae cake!!!!!

then today - supposed to go to this german restuarant at vivo to celebrate. AIYA talking abt it also quite fed up nah. OK i know why i grumpy coz he always doesn't appreciate my thoughts nor. Like i wnt treat him go eat at this restuarant he "u alot money hor?" pls lo... ppl tink all nicely already, at least appreciate can? i know he is thoughtful dun wnt me to spend money coz im really quite broke but he is my bf neh and not like i can treat him everyday. is once a year! is always he paying, den now i pay for once is not wrong what! so im grumpy like "wats his problem nahhhh".. haiya.. but anyway, i tink is god's will, didnt go coz is raining. so went to bliss @ punggol park instead and the food not nice nah alot ppl say nice but not nice at all, waste money!

ooo and im grumpy also becoz of the lesson i attended on friday. the instructor super irritating who act ang moh, singaporean neh, be proud of your slang nah.. dun need to act all the ang moh slang nor! she can talk normally but lesson start, she started to emphasize her R, D and T so much that I feel like throwing the whole CPU in her mouth to shut her up!

hahaha i got so much to complain that hunnie can't stand me today and tell me to stop complaining.. bwhahahahahaha

looking forward to jap food tomorrow hopefully!

On a side note, i dun wnt hunnie to leave me.. can don't go so faraway can? :(

feeling fat, bloated and ugly.. :~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(

dislike..

people who are so full of themselves, as if the whole world is interested in their stories. I'm not in a good mood this whole week so everyone is ugly.

On a separate matter, i need a new hp and a bag..

can i keep a real pooh as pet?

i just need some place to rant.

And I've de-activated my facebook account. Where should I best rant my feelings? Nobody cares. And i tink this is good because none of my colleagues know that i've a blog. Nobody is a vivid reader, can say that none of my friends know as well. I wanted to do a password protected post just in case some strangers just popped in and see. But well, nobody knows who I am so I guess it doesnt matter. I tink I should just stop using facebook - that cause so much trouble. should just stop hanging out with ppl - that cause so much trouble. should just isolate myself into my own world. Have I changed? He said he is disappointed in me, just because I called him "pig" in front of everybody. I tried to explain but he doesn't listen at all. He thinks that I am degrading him in front of everyone - I reassured him that I did not change, that is just a nickname and everybody knows how much I love him and how much I always side with him, but he doesn't, he just assume. He doesn't trust me and he thinks that I've changed after I start to hang out with the OLs. And Cleo? All the rubbish advices? Have I? What causes changes? Circumstances. How can we blame others when something is not right? Something that had already build up through time, it is affected by the little things that he had not been paying attention to, and not giving me enough attention. When I am talking to him, I know that he is listening, but he never looks at me and whenever I wanted heart to heart talk, does he really take the time to really listen? Whenever he tells me that he doesn’t like this and that, I really control myself and try to stop doing all those things because I am afraid that he will be angry. What did I get in return? A sentence “I don’t believe you anymore”. When he is angry, he will give an attitude and give one straight face and I will abstain from arguing and saying all the things because of all the fear and I am afraid of him being angry more than anything else. Did he use his heart to try to see all that and even try to understand me? In any relationship, one would need to learn to live with disagreements. There is no need for couples to agree in everything. I don’t really need a yes man or someone to go all out to give in to me. All I need is to feel respected enough... he sincerely consider my feelings and priorities even if he might not completely agree or understand me. All women like attention and the feeling of being pampered... and no... These advices and thoughts are not from the others, like as if they care? It’s our problem, and not theirs. The hidden sad feelings are deep inside of me. I just don’t know how to say, don’t know how to start. Though. I still love him, more than yesterday, and each day.

If there's nothing in life for me to be happy about then can i just die?

i love hunnie and hunnie loves me!

The nice and fresh bouquet.

Met hunnie @ vivocity when he gave me a bouquet of lilies.. me love :) he does remember what I love and what i don't. A happy nut all the way while watching slumdog millionaire. Imagine riding a bike with a bouquet... and it's RAINING! THANK GOD, the bouquet managed to reach home "safe and sound".. a tough bouquet indeed!

Hunnie bought me to this place @ holland V called Bistro Petit Salut for french food! DAMN ATAS lah... price also ATAS. It's part of the group called Au Petit Salut.. I heard of it! Went to research on the resturant, ooooo no wonder they are rated Top Three in the recent World Gourmet Summit 2008. I feel like a thailand mountain there hahahaha but the food really got standard, I think it's the most expensive meals I have ever eated (individually) - after The Cliff @ Sentosa. I'm more like a kopitiam girl you know.. hehehe. Hunnie really "jiao you guang kuo", he knows the chef. He even personally come recommend dishes to us and gave us complimentary dishes! Their dessert is heavenly! I wish I can eat it forever. Now I know the logic "you pay for watever you get"..

And the best! The truffie linguine. REALLY THE BEST! DAMNIT, it's not in my course, hunnie got to eat it. hmMPHz. And it's only appetizer! ARGH.

I love their bread and butter also!

And he enjoyed his too!

:D